I’m Back On My Bullshit: A short story about how I’m feeling right now.

I’m back on my bullshit. The Take Oven is fired up and open for business!!! Uncle Bernie and I took a break so I didn’t feel I could provide the fire you guys come here for, but things done changed!! I’ve missed a lot of shit, and it’s unfortunate I didn’t get a chance to say ridiculous things about the past few weeks worth of events, but I can’t change the past; I’m not a genie, so let me live. The Mets have all pretty much died and our bullpen is not good, but the day I stop forcing myself to be eternally optimistic will be the day I stop watching baseball, because being a Mets’ fan is so fucking miserable I don’t know any other way to do it. That being said, I can still see a lot of ways things can go well for us. Syndergaard will be gone for a bit, but DeGrom is a god and also Conforto remembered how to hit. Other good things are that Cespedes will be back soon and also Jeurys Familia is using this time off to reflect on beating his wife, and surely will come back a better man. Let’s do this thing.

 

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