Opening Day is Here, Bitches.

Opening day is here. It’s Monday morning and the Mets are playing a game against the Braves today at 1pm, and it actually counts. Fuck yeah. I already did a season preview where I talked about each position and how things can go really well and it got me super fired up. But that is nothing like what I’m feeling right now, because in an hour and a half Noah Syndergaard is gonna step on the mound and throw fucking heat at Braves hitters. Even with all the question marks we have going into this season, Thor is as close to a sure thing as there is in baseball. The other sure thing we have going for us is that the Mets always seem to win on opening day. I’m not a big numbers guy, but having two sure things going for us seems a lot better than only having one sure thing.

More importantly, fuck the Braves. Let’s go down this road a little bit. Beating on the Braves for the last few years has been such an amazing feeling after growing up watching them dominate the NL East. I hate them. Fuck Chipper Jones’ stupid name ass. Fuck Freddie Freeman and whoever else is on that team because at this point I don’t even know. All I know is that Braves’ fans are the worst because they do that stupid chop thing in the stands and they carry themselves like they’re still a good team but they’re not. You hear that Braves’ Fans? The Atlanta Braves are not a good team, and it’s going to be a long year for y’all.

So let’s fucking go. Baseball is a long season, but there is nothing like waking up on opening day and feeling like your squad is about to go 162-0. That’s how I’m feeling. Thor on the mound, mowing down Braves. Cespedes is due for a few dingers and I’m gonna lay my ass on the couch, crack a beer, and daydream about getting obnoxiously drunk when the Mets win a World Series this year. #LGM

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